I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
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