Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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