She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
