I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize