you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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