It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
