It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
