i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
smell my finger.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
