i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I can't put those talents on a resume
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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