I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
