my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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