I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
