Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
