You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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