idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
