No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
this is an emotional support booty call
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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