Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she peed on how many people?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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