i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
