Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
