im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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