Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
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he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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