I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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