You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
