you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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