I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
