two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
