omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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