He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
