Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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