If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
