I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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