this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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