I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
