i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
