What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I could make wine with my vomit
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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