How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
