all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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