Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
handjob tips. give me some.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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