Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
