and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
