i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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