Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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