Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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