I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
