just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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