I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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