White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
