i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
