Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
