just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
