You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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