I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
