if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I understand Curling. That high.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
