Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
