I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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