you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
