he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
