Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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