is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
