shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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