break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
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So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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