you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
