Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
