My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
