Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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