were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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